Pinewood Derby

My all-time radio fantasy has yet to be realized. Someday, I’m going to provide insane radio coverage of a local Pinewood Derby. As far as I know, this has never been attempted…

Here’s how it’s gonna go. I’ll spend 4 solid hours in my production studio putting together over-the-top NASCAR style production and music beds: big voice guy, rock and roll, the works. Then I’m going to bring a portable recorder down to the local Pinewood Derby and spend hours interviewing every participant before the races begin. When they start, I’m going to scream, hoot, and hollar’ like DW on Sunday (at least for 5 seconds at a time).

This whole thing will be pre-recorded, so it won’t be much of a technical challenge to piece it into a one-hour special. Just a bit time consuming. When everything sounds proper, I’ll take it to the sales department and let them work their sleazy magic with local car dealers, etc. This special will be promoted 2-weeks in advance with an elaborate “count-down” promo airing every day. Hell, I’ll even make a video promo for the station’s YouTube channel. The suspense will be riveting. Any community would go absolutely crazy over something like this. Again…it’s the “something out of nothing” theory. This is how we have to operate now.

My scheme has only one discernible flaw: I’m not in local radio anymore. Is there a PD of a small market station that would like to run with this idea? If so, send me a Tweet and I’ll personally send you all of the production that you’ll need to pull this off. For free. Seriously. First one to reply wins.

Please help me realize my dream…


4 responses to “Pinewood Derby

  1. Abby Richards

    Hey Cuz – I’m excited to read/see what you’ll be up to in the future – you’re always one for great ideas! Were you already in Austin, or is that coming up? Remember, we’re only an hour south of there – we’d LOVE to see you!

  2. You ever need an extra voice for one of your zany productions — gratis — I’m yer boy!

  3. Bill…you know you’re the first creep I’m gonna call! Love your whacky read…

  4. That’s good stuff… I read this a week late though Ben….just ran my 9 year olds pinewood derby races last weekend too. There’s always next year. 😛

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